by Leslie Gornstein
Jun 4, 2007 If more people watch Jim Belushi than Sarah Silverman, does that make him the funniest man on TV?
—Carlos, San Diego

The B!tch Replies:  What a very mildly amusing quip! Obviously, the answer depends on whether you value my opinion, or that of the 6 million drones who watched According to Jim before it was canceled. Meanwhile, the Sarah Silverman program only got about 1.5 million this year, but remember, it’s basic cable, while Jim Belushi was on a network, so comparing the two—get ready, I’m about to say something reasonable—isn’t really fair.

Here’s what is fair: According to Jim is done. Over! Forever. From now on, we may enjoy Jim’s high-larious bikini-girl-plus-cream-puff dream sequences only in reruns. Silverman, meanwhile, plans to return for a second season. Yes, soon we’ll get a whole new batch of Sarah, who—because she combines semihotness with naughty-naughty boobie-poop jokes—must be referred to, at all times, as a fearless genius.

Son, if we were to judge comedians solely on ratings, you know what we’d have to believe? That Jason Lee was less funny than Julia Louis-Dreyfus, who’d be less funny than America Ferrera, who would be even less funny than whoever is on The Rules of Engagement.

Meanwhile, guess who would rank among the least funny: Larry David, Tina Fey, Zach Braff, Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. Heck, using your method, there wouldn’t even be a place for David Krumholtz, the crime-fighting mathematician on Numb3rs who thwarts baddies with powers of calculus.

And if that isn’t funny week after week, really, what is?

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